found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
