You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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