I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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