Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.