Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  How's tricks little girl?

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Trix are for kids, old man.

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  (212): How's tricks little girl? (205): Trix are for kids, old man. http://tfl.nu/bqwt
  Replies (6) Good night (876) Bad night (1008)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"

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  (314): just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?" http://tfl.nu/ava3
  Replies (52) Good night (4887) Bad night (638)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.

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  (843): Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought. http://tfl.nu/bahq
  Replies (14) Good night (736) Bad night (4447)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted

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  (610): Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted http://tfl.nu/q55a
  Replies (11) Good night (5645) Bad night (2510)
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  (518): View more from New York

  it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone

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  (518): it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone http://tfl.nu/gzqw
  Replies (13) Good night (4452) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.

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  (619): I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight. http://tfl.nu/r1ts
  Replies (4) Good night (2466) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"

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  (817): I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months" http://tfl.nu/023g
  Replies (5) Good night (2225) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup

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  (248): Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier? (1-248): Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup http://tfl.nu/318d
  Replies (0) Good night (510) Bad night (899)
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  (914): View more from New York

  The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"

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  (914): The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?" http://tfl.nu/1k91
  Replies (4) Good night (1268) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar

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  (651): I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar http://tfl.nu/y23q
  Replies (4) Good night (680) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (226): View more from Ontario

  You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"

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  (226): You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!" http://tfl.nu/6320
  Replies (1) Good night (657) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (226): View more from Ontario

  I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.

  (613): View more from Ontario

  The fuck? Where?

  (226): View more from Ontario

  St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.

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  (226): I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy. (613): The fuck? Where? (226): St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this. http://tfl.nu/bh0m
  Replies (8) Good night (799) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice

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  (540): I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice http://tfl.nu/bdyb
  Replies (3) Good night (1113) Bad night (232)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?

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  (432): Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"? http://tfl.nu/bsum
  Replies (10) Good night (289) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.

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  (616): The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time. http://tfl.nu/wo2i
  Replies (4) Good night (555) Bad night (207)

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