bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
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he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
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If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.