My nipple is on Facebook.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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