I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
