Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
