Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
