This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
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The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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