Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
