You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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