I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
