He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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