Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Dignity is for republicans.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
