I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
