I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize