Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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