Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
only you would photoshop your dick
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
