the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
