Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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