Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
well you can't waste a boner
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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