I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
