What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
