my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Your penis caused this!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
