the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
