Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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