yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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