omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
