you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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