Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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