I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
