I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
