Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You pole danced in your parka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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