Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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