so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
