We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just had sex on a roof
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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