do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
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Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
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I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I have aggressive nipples.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you