Texts From Last Night

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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.

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  (828): can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later. (919): wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here! (828): i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa. http://tfl.nu/e72d
  Replies (2) Good night (825) Bad night (754)
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  (415): View more from California

  Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.

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  (415): Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it. http://tfl.nu/inu8
  Replies (10) Good night (5204) Bad night (589) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.

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  (215): epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally. http://tfl.nu/x2ht
  Replies (17) Good night (1127) Bad night (3385) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.

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  (781): I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket. http://tfl.nu/zypb
  Replies (51) Good night (653) Bad night (4543) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"

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  (410): i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??" http://tfl.nu/civz
  Replies (43) Good night (844) Bad night (14622) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.

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  (315): And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter. http://tfl.nu/66e0
  Replies (7) Good night (3362) Bad night (775) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.

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  (803): She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD. http://tfl.nu/b7tw
  Replies (13) Good night (1245) Bad night (2870) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.

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  (813): Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials. http://tfl.nu/g3k6
  Replies (22) Good night (1173) Bad night (1737) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.

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  (201): Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory. http://tfl.nu/a6d4
  Replies (4) Good night (2115) Bad night (1048) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night

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  (262): Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night http://tfl.nu/r3zi
  Replies (2) Good night (1212) Bad night (346) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.

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  (206): If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral. http://tfl.nu/sboa
  Replies (15) Good night (1507) Bad night (320) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.

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  (937): I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe. http://tfl.nu/np5r
  Replies (10) Good night (1392) Bad night (265)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??

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  (+44): My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts?? http://tfl.nu/jz5d
  Replies (2) Good night (1233) Bad night (270) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.

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  (860): The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing. http://tfl.nu/fj2u
  Replies (7) Good night (318) Bad night (142) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.

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  (314): You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad (224): I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick. http://tfl.nu/vatm
  Replies (2) Good night (107) Bad night (740)

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