then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
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Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
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Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?