Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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