We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
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I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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