I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
