I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
