I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
