fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
