Who wears a wallet chain?!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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