i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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