How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
