I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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