dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
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Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
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And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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