I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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