i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
