Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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