He is such a slut. More and more my type.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
