Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
