Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
