swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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