i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
