you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
