I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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