idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
