I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
