My nipple is on Facebook.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
