remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Fuck appropriateness.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize