My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
