So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
